still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
