Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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