Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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