Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
did you just send me my own nude
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
