Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
