Who wears a wallet chain?!
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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