There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
