we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
