So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
