first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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