I accidentally burped into my bong.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
