Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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