I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
