fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You smell like stripper and shame
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
