some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
It's just like the Real World with babies
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
