never play flip cup with pint glasses
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
