ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
