Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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