i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize
