i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
