I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
