Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
