i don't like sucking hair
In America we eat man semen.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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