the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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