Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize