babies were throwing up all over the place
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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