if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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