RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize