Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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