She said her name was "party"
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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