so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
