I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
