I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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