i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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