Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize