what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
