i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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