i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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