I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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