How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
