Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
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At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
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The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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