I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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