I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
