i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
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I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
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No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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