you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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