She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Less talking, more tequila
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize