You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize