all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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