Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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