the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
