My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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