The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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