I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
he fucked my hip out of place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize